Remy's First Day of Daycare

This little guy went to daycare today.

It was traumatizing, for me. I feel psychologically scarred by the whole ordeal. Remy, however, does not seem to be traumatized or scarred and in fact did some of the traumatizing and scarring to me.

I dropped Remy off this morning and, just as I expected, when I went to leave he started screaming. When he is scared of something (ok, ok, its the vacuum cleaner) he starts dancing like he is peeing his pants, shaking and screaming. That is what he did when I left. I was so sad and trying not to cry too but I didn't want to make it worse by staying longer.
All morning and all afternoon I wondered about him. Was he sad, was he able to take his nap, did he eat anything or was he too confused by the different routine? I wanted so badly to go see him on my hour break in between jobs but I did not want to see him for a few minutes and then leave him there again. I begged Nic to bring Remy to see me at work so that I would be able to give him a kiss. Otherwise I would not see him until tomorrow morning since Remy is in bed by the time I get home from work.

A little after 5 Nic and Remy came to see me and I was so excited! I hugged Remy and kissed his fat little cheeks and he smiled, babbled something and then wiggled to be let down. What!! Where is the excitement?!! He should be so happy to see me after all day without me! When Nic comes home from work Remy is ecstatic because he has not seen him all day. Slightly offended I grab Remy's hand so we can walk around the store. He holds my hand for a few seconds and then squirms free. Usually Remy loves to hold hands. But no, he saw the shopping carts and made a b-line for them. Sold out for a shopping cart!
Grasping at straws I ask Nic if Remy was excited to see him when he got picked up, hoping against hope that he was at least excited to see Nic, his idol. Nic shrugged and said that he just kind of toddled over to him in no big hurry.
Trying to calm me down Nic handed me the note that Remy gets every day giving us a little bit of detail into what his day is like. This is what it read
"So sweet! He was great with other kids; content; communicated well; played with just about everything! Enjoyed our circle time songs".
WHAT?!! She had SONGS!! No wonder he liked it! And he was sweet and content!?? I know, I know. I am happy that Remy liked daycare and I am happy that he napped well, ate well and played well. This is a positive thing. But a small part, ok, maybe a big part of me would like it if he showed that he missed me a little, that he didn't have too much fun because then that would mean I'm not fun, and that he would at least be a little confused the first day. Its almost like I struggled through the last 15 months, sacrificing income, sanity and family time so that I could spend my days with him and he could be cared for by his parents, for nothing!
Kids, sometimes I wish they weren't so darn adaptable.