Help!

I have been feeling a little down lately regarding my mothering and .... wife-ing? ... I find myself frustrated because I don't have our lives or home really organized. I don't use my time wisely. I don't parent effectively. I don't consistently make tasks a priority.
Although I am not a true stay-at-home mom anymore and I have been working in some capacity since Remy was 4 months old, I still have way more time at home then your average working mom. Its frustrating to me to see other mothers who cook, bake, can, clean, make all their clothing right down to their underwear, have their kids in all sorts of activities, volunteer at church, garden and have angel children. I know that I don't see the reality of their day to day life and maybe they are stressed beyond belief or have marriage problems or whatever, but the point is; they still accomplish all of these things.
Maybe what frustrates me the most is I know I am capable of accomplishing the tasks I want to, of keeping a sparkling clean home, gardening, cooking our meals, baking treats and work on projects around the house and yard. I just simply don't manage my time well. I like to read blogs, I like to peruse recipe sites, I waste too much time on Facebook. I don't watch as much tv as I used to, mainly in the evenings when Nic is home for and hour or two, but that still wastes some time. Honestly I don't know where a lot of my time goes. Its just gone. I also spend a lot of time bemoaning the fact that I don't accomplish anything, I guess.
I look back at when we first got married and if I could have pulled myself together enough that first year and organized our life, when we had our subsequent moves and Remy was born, these things would have already been in place. I would have had habits, a system and learned to work with that in our new situation.
I do find it difficult to get things done around Remy. He is a boy. Boy toddlers = destructive. You literally can't do anything within his reach or he will destroy it. Because he is an only child I am his only source of entertainment so he is usually hanging on my leg screaming. Distraction doesn't work, discipline doesn't work, ignoring him doesn't work. I realize I can figure out how to work around that but the point is I have not.

So now that I have had a nice big pity party for myself my real question is this; how and when did you get your act together as a mom? How do you keep your kid occupied so you can get things done? How do you control your husbands clutter without going crazy and throwing everything away?