How to Shower like a Mommy

I know that a universal struggle, once you become a mommy, is showering. First its because you don't have time, then its because your baby is mobile and you can't leave them alone for very long without them getting a life threatening injury, eventually its because they won't leave you alone long enough to shower and finally its because that darn teenager is always hogging the shower.

Right now Remy refuses to leave me alone so I can shower. Technically we are still in the state where I am afraid to leave him alone for fear of life threatening injury. But bravely, or stupidly, I shut the bathroom door, leaving him to fend for himself in a half baby-proofed house. There is just one small problem. You see, its humid here during the summer which means that all doors and windows change size and shape which can cause your doors and windows to shut or open differently. For some reason the bathroom door does not stay latched during the summer (we have no lock). I shut the door, ever so carefully, make sure the latch clicked and jump in the shower as fast as I can. As soon as Remy hears the water turn on he is over to the door in a flash. He pushes on it as hard as he can and, magically, it opens.

Today it took a little longer for him to get the door open so by the time he actually got in the bathroom he was good and mad at me for locking him out. Just like every other time, the first thing he does is crawl over to the tub and pull open the shower curtain part way so he can try to grab the faucets while distracting me from showering and simultaneously spraying himself and the bathroom with water. The older he gets the farther he opens the shower curtain. Currently its about 2 feet.
I finally got frustrated, shut the curtain and pinned it with my foot so he couldn't get it open. I hurriedly tried to finish showering as fast as I can while he screamed and pulled at the shower curtain. This is hard to do because a) I have no muscle in my legs so I had to keep switching legs. b) its really hard to balance and shave on one leg while trying to keep the water from washing all the shaving cream off and c) I was laughing my head off at Remy's angry crying.
Finally I gave up and decided to let him open the curtain. As soon as I let go he ripped open the shower curtain and glared at me with the most angry face I have ever seen on his angelic little countenance. And he continued to glare at me, for a good 30 seconds until he was sure that I realized the error of my ways.
By this time I was laughing hysterically which didn't help matters at all. O, how I wish I would have had a camera to capture that!