Changes

There are some changes for our family coming up in the future, some we know are happening and some we hope will happen but don't know how. And other changes we can't foresee but that will be natural results of other changes.
Confused?
So am I.

But don't worry, none of those changes involve more babies.

Today is a good day with Remy, he did not wake up during the night! First victory. He also woke up happy this morning. I woke up to him quietly talking to himself and went in to find him laying down rubbing his blanket. When I picked him up he was so relaxed he gave me a hug. Second victory. Usually I wake up to him half screaming, half yelling but all annoyed because I have not rescued him from his prison. When I pick him up he throws himself around, angry that I cannot simultaneously change his wet diaper and feed him breakfast at the same time all while he climbs the stairs. So hugs are never part of the equation.

Right now we are in one of those happy happy places where he has a schedule that works and he likes it. Which means tomorrow he will grow, or start getting a tooth or reach a new milestone and it will all get thrown out of wack again and we will be back in the throes of Rachel and Remy Angst while poor Nicholas is left to deal with it all.

Sometimes I feel guilty for struggling as a mother while other people seem to thrive on it. But today I feel good. So I document this so that I can read it another day when everything is going badly. There is hope!

I am filling out paperwork for daycare and it makes me scared. They want me to leave a blanket there at all times for nap time. But Remy has one specific blanket with a silky edge that must be just so when he is going to sleep. It is the only blanket we have with a silky edge and they no longer carry it at Target. I checked. Not even one close to it. So I am in quandary. Leave it at daycare so Remy can feel safe and have something he knows at nap time or keep it at home so he goes to sleep at night. Ahhhh!! Nic said, ever so calmly "bring a different blanket to daycare and that will become his new routine there and keep his silky blanket at home where he expects it to be."

Stop being so logical, man!! I'm trying to freak out here!

So I guess that is what I'll do but. Mostly I am just feeling really anxious about daycare and not being there to protect Remy from all the bad things in the world. What if someone yells at him?! (I mean I yell a bazillion times a day "Remy! Don't Touch That! Get Your Hand Out Of The Garbage!" ect.... but that is different, right?) or what if another kid makes fun of them and I am not there to smack 'em?

I still don't know for sure that this daycare situation is going to work out so I won't say much about it other than if it does it won't be a moment too soon!

I can hear Remy waking up from his nap so I better go get his water so that he won't slap me when I get him out of bed. Just kidding, sort of....