On letting go

Yesterday was a HUGE milestone for me, well I guess for Remy too...but you know, whatever.
I PUT HIM IN THE NURSERY AT CHURCH.

Now for those of you who know me you know I am bit of a smother mother, also I am a bit of a worrier. When I say "bit" I really mean Bigger Than You Can Imagine. Even when I had raging post-partum depression I still worried and smothered and all around was pretty over the top for someone who didn't really even like the little guy. This is probably because I live in fear of damaging Remy in some irreparable way through something that could have been easily avoided. I kind of think thats already happened via the post-partum depression but THATS another story.

Ahem... back to yesterday.
Remy usually takes his longest nap in the morning around 10 or so. I think this is because he most likely wakes up around 6 or 6:30 and then happily lays by himself in his bed quietly talking and playing, and then around 7 or 7:30 he starts to get annoyed that I have not heard him and starts talking a little more loudly. Finally around 8 he decides he has had it and starts crying for me to come get him. (Unfortunately he seems to be waking up at odd times lately, 5:30 today, egads!!) So by the time 9 or 10 rolls around he has already been awake for several hours. Sunday he woke up at 7 and stayed up until we went to church at 10:30.
That meant;
a. He was hungry
b. He was sleepy
c. He most certainly did not want to be held in a noisy church worship service and then sit quietly through the sermon.

After about 10 minutes of him squirming around and being on the verge of crying I turned to Nic and whispered "do you think I should take him to the nursery?". After recovering from shock Nic nodded and said "yes!!". So off to the nursery I went and after giving detailed, time lined instructions, I left my little, not-quite-8-months-old baby boy, and went back to the church service. I did make Nic go peek in the window after a little bit to make sure he was ok, but other than that we enjoyed a peaceful service. However, I was so emotionally streched from having abandoned my baby that I exhausted myself and spent the entire service fighting sleep. As soon as the service was over I bolted out the sanctuary, barely stopping to get my puffer vest, and went to get my little guy.
Needless to say, we survived and I think I will probably take advantage of the nursery every once in awhile. I still like having him with us if possible.

In the spirit of letting go I am also having my brother, David, watch him Tuesday night while we go to small group. I have been taking him with us to small group but since he goes to bed at 7:30 and small group is at 7 it doesn't really work. While it used to because we used to meet at peoples houses so I would just lay him down in a bedroom, but now that we meet at church there is not quiet, dark room I feel comfortable leaving him in. This will be the first person, other than our parents or my sister, to watch him. Granted David is still family, but this is a huge step for me nonetheless.